A Goodbye
Posted: Monday, October 19, 2009
by Joyce Dunn
A GOODBYE
She sits on the sunny hillside and
Lays a blanket of wildflowers over the
Tiny grave. Her mind roams back to
That Sunday morning of fifteen years ago.
Only a few hours ago her world
Had been perfect. A two year
Old at home waiting for his
New brother or sister.
Nothing had prepared her.
No ‘What if' thought had
Darkened her mind.
A child's death only
A remote event that had no place
In her world.
Her first memory, the fog of
Disembodied voices.
‘Your baby id dead.'
NO! This is a dream!
Her eyes won't open.
More fog, more voices,
One of them hers…
‘Is he really dead?'
‘I want to wake up now
and see my son.'
When the fog lifts she sees
His father sitting and weeping.
A glorious sunrise framed
In the window, mocking her
With the promise of a new day.
No one offers to take her
To him, nor does she ask.
Dark memories from her youth
And the shock of her grandma's
Body prevent that request.
It's only when it's too late
She knows she
Should have asked,
Should have seen him,
Should have said goodbye.
That unsaid goodbye has left her with
Fifteen years of the pain of ‘if only',
Of dark fantasies that he is waiting for
Her to come get him. Of lurking
Shadows of regret that she was
Not brave enough to go to him.
Today, finally, on this quiet
And is cloaked with a
Gossamer veil of peace.
Hi Joyce.I am so sorry for your loss. That "gossamer veil of peace" is strong enough a motivation to be happy again. Great poem!~Nenita~Hi Nenita, the 'goodbye' I wrote about here did the trick, and I was able to move on with only occasional rememberances of him.
The loss of a child is one of the hardest things a person can go through. Bless you. This was a very moving story and I look forward to reading more from you.Sarah, thanks for taking time to comment on this. It's always nice to get feedback on my writing, constructive or otherwise. :)
There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven...a time to be born and a time to die...Jim, I totally agree, and am also very aware that everything happens for a reason. I would probably be a very different person today if Pat hadn't died.
We lost a baby girl in 1998 and I have never known greif like that. I have moved on but sometimes the memoies come back in a flood. She would be 11 now. What would she be like? Would she play guitar like dad or love movies like mom. It eats me up sometimes. Thank you for sharing your story. I am touchedSteven, losing a child is probably the hardest thing anyone can go through. You will never forget her, but it does lessen some with time. Some. Try to focus on the blessings you do have, knowing she's fine and waiting for you.
I can't begin to imagine the pain suffered by those who have lost a child. This was beautifully written Joyce and gives us some insight into what you and others have felt with such a tremendous loss. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Thanks for the kind words Brianna.